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(Source: thecommonchick.com)
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(Source: love-personal)
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guy:
i’m actually pretty cool just give me like 5 tries to get it right
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ok, but consider a centaur but the top half is a bee
what, the fuck
turtle-stack left a question.
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- Me after interacting with someone: I'm sorry
- Them: what?? What are you sorry for
- Me: I am so sorry
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Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.
Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.
Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.
Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.
There are million dollar blockbuster movies that were less entertaining than the rollercoaster this post just took me on.
